


I might not be the right one

by yuraxchan



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, M/M, mentions of manipulation, people-pleasing syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 14:49:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2625731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuraxchan/pseuds/yuraxchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chen is the type to buy his lover anything and everything to make them stay with him. Baekhyun is Chen's latest lover and while he was originally only in it for the free stuff, he finds himself falling more and more for Chen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I might not be the right one

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by lolistar73@LJ and written for chenpionships@LJ.

 

 

 

Sitting quietly in Jongdae’s kitchen, Baekhyun looked pensive. He had to admit that the younger was indeed quite a catch. Even if he hadn’t informed his boyfriend about his visit to his apartment on a whim, Jongdae had simply greeted him with a lazy smile and a sweet kiss on the cheek. Baekhyun had expected him to be shocked or worse panicked to see him at his door on a Sunday morning, but the younger didn’t seem fazed by his sudden appearance.  
  
Honestly, Baekhyun was quite disappointed. He wanted to find Jongdae’s flaws. The younger was always so nice to others – mostly to him – and Baekhyun was intrigued about it. No one could be this nice without hiding something, right? He wanted to find Jongdae’s weakness, but he had not succeeded, yet.  
  
They had been going out for four months and Baekhyun should have been tired of his younger lover by now, but surprisingly it wasn’t the case at all. On the contrary, the more time he spent with Jongdae, the less he wanted to dump him. And it irked him to no end.  
  
It was a strange situation for someone like Baekhyun – who was used to date lots of men only for a few days or weeks. He stayed with them just long enough to spend a good time and get expensive gifts – like clothes, jewelries, perfumes, or eat in fancy restaurants and stay in luxury hotels if he was lucky. It wasn’t only for the free stuffs per se, well not really, but it was always a plus. The more the guy was rich the better it was for Baekhyun.  
  
Kim Jongdae was an exception, though. Baekhyun hadn’t known anything about the guy while meeting him, and he hadn’t think twice before asking him out, even without knowing if he was wealthy or not. At that time, Baekhyun had broken his first rule in a blink of an eye without regret.  
  
Looking back at their first encounter, Baekhyun should have known Jongdae was different. There was something about him that drew Baekhyun in. Maybe it was his kittenish smile, his particularly high cheekbones or his bright eyes. Or maybe it was everything about Kim Jongdae that made his heart flutter for the first time in years. Baekhyun had a soft spot for the guy and he didn’t know what to make of it, it was all too confusing for someone like him who was only looking for company and a little fun.  
  
At the moment, Jongdae was cooking breakfast for them, shuffling around the kitchen while repressing a yawn. His eyes were still heavy with sleep and he scratched absentmindedly at his tummy, revealing a patch of skin and a trail of dark hairs disappearing in his sweatpants. Baekhyun licked his lips and drank in the sight, captivated. The fact that Jongdae was really hot didn’t hurt either.  
  
Feeling a little guilty to have woken up his boyfriend for all the wrong reasons, Baekhyun got up, chair scraping loudly against the floor, and hugged him from behind.  
  
“Are you that hungry?” The younger chuckled.  
  
“Nope, it’s just that I didn’t have my morning kiss.” Baekhyun replied, his voice muffled by the fabric of Jongdae’s shirt.  
  
“I’m sorry. What an inconsiderate boyfriend I am.” Jongdae put down the spoon he was holding and turned around to face him, planting a kiss on his forehead. “There.”  
  
Annoyed, Baekhyun pouted and puckered his lips towards him. When Jongdae lifted one eyebrow, he pointed his lips with his finger. “Lips,” he whined.  
  
Smiling softly, Jongdae bent down to press his lips on his gently. “Aren’t you a little bit demanding this morning?”  
  
Baekhyun bit his lips and looked away. He knew Jongdae was joking, but the words hurt a little. Not because that they weren’t true – they were, but because the younger didn’t know how much he was right, how much Baekhyun was demanding and greedy with the men he used to date. It wasn’t like Jongdae had to know anyway.  
  
“What are we doing today?” He asked instead to change the subject.  
  
His lover looked pensive, “Shopping? And I’ll bring you to that new restaurant you wanted to try if you want.”  
  
Nodding, Baekhyun smiled and pecked his cheek before sitting back on his chair.  
  
  
  
Three bags of clothes and accessories and a full belly later, Baekhyun went back to his own apartment where his roommate, Kyungsoo, was waiting for him, a disapproving look on his face.  
  
“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” He said with a sigh.  
  
“Why?” Baekhyun frowned, jumping to the couch. “It’s not like it’s the first time.”  
  
“Yes but aren’t you serious with this one?” His friend prodded. “It’s been what… three months?”  
  
“Four!” Baekhyun replied, taking the remote control from his friend’s hand to change the channel.  
  
“Didn’t you say you liked him?” Kyungsoo tried again.  
  
Baekhyun smiled when he found a good program and turned his head towards his roommate. “I like him enough, I guess. He’s nice and fun to be with. I’m having a good time.”  
  
“He’s too nice. What you’re doing is wrong, Baek.” Kyungsoo corrected.  
  
Letting out a sigh, Baekhyun wiggled on the couch to find a more comfortable position. “Whatever. I know what I’m doing.”  
  
Knowing the subject was closed, his friend didn’t reply. He hoped Baekhyun really knew what he was doing.  
  
  
  
Jongdae let out a soft moan and arched his back when Baekhyun trailed kisses along his collarbone towards his stomach. The younger gasped out a soft ‘Baekhyun’, gripping his hair tightly, and Baekhyun smiled against his feverish skin. Knowing he was the one reducing the younger in a moaning mess was honestly one of the best thing in his life.  
  
Without waiting any longer, Baekhyun wrapped his hand around Jongdae’s cock and pressed a teasing kiss to the tip. Jongdae hissed and his head lolled back on the mattress, his mouth forming a perfect ‘o’. Baekhyun licked the underside of the younger’s aching erection to tease him before taking it entirely in his mouth. His lover moaned and bucked up his hips, his cock thrusting deeper in Baekhyun’s hot and wet mouth.  
  
Opening his eyes, Jongdae licked his lips and made eye contact with Baekhyun who smiled smugly around his girth. Setting an up and down motion, he did his best to deep throat Jongdae, humming around him and teasing his balls with his fingers. The younger could only groan and thrash under him, trying to get as much friction as he could without forcing himself on Baekhyun.  
  
Baekhyun bobbed his head faster, closing his eyes to concentrate on his task to bring Jongdae to his orgasm, until the younger tensed and spilled in his awaiting mouth with a cry. Licking his lips and wiping his mouth dry with the back of his hand, Baekhyun climbed up his body, leaving butterfly kisses on his torso before pecking him square on the mouth.  
  
Jongdae sighed contently and kissed Baekhyun’s temple while his lover tucked his head on his shoulder, tracing patterns on his naked chest and savoring the moment. Surprisingly, Jongdae was a cuddler, he always liked to cuddle after sex – and despite everything, Baekhyun found it quite endearing.  
  
“So,” Jongdae began after a moment of silence. “What is it that you want?”  
  
Baekhyun froze and looked up at him, confused. “What?”  
  
“Well…” He paused. “You suddenly jumped on me, so I thought maybe you wanted something?” Jongdae explained, uneasy.  
  
Baekhyun didn’t know what face he was making but it mustn’t have been pretty because Jongdae’s eyes were searching his own frantically. The younger sat up, agitated, and took his hand while caressing his face.  
  
“I mean – it’s okay, you can ask me whatever you want. I was just… I didn’t….” He babbled, nervous. “You know you can ask me anything.” He added with a smile.  
  
His smile was so pure and so sincere, borderline loving that it made Baekhyun wanted to puke. Jongdae knew. Jongdae knew how vain he was but had never said anything nonetheless. Baekhyun had been a fool to think Jongdae wouldn’t catch on, he was rather observant despite his naivety. Judging by the look on Jongdae’s face it must have been a slip of the tongue, because he never had implied anything before today.  
  
Most of the times, Baekhyun would pleasure him to thank him for a gift or to ask for something he wanted. He hadn’t been very subtle about it since day one, so it shouldn’t have surprised him that Jongdae had caught up. Baekhyun never thought much about the way he acted before, but hearing it directly from Jongdae’s mouth was quite shocking and off putting.  
  
Jongdae had sensed his uneasiness because he cupped his face, trying to search his gaze, a frown formed on his face. “Baekhyun?”  
  
“I… I should go.” Baekhyun said instead, visibly shaken.  
  
The younger gripped his wrist before he could get up and pulled him towards him, hugging him tight. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you. I shouldn’t have said anything.”  
  
“No… You did nothing wrong. It’s me who is sorry.” He replied with a sigh, snuggling closer to Jongdae.  
  
“You know I like you, right? I really like you, Baekhyun.” He whispered quietly. “I’m sorry.”  
  
Baekhyun’s throat constricted and he closed his eyes, going lax in Jongdae’s embrace.  
  
  
  
“What happened?” Kyungsoo asked him when he passed through the door.  
  
Baekhyun slumped on the couch. “Jongdae knows.” He confessed.  
  
“Knows? He knows what?”His roommate repeated, confused.  
  
“How fucked up I am…” He trailed off, looking blankly at the wall.  
  
His friend stayed silent before sliding towards him to hug him, showing him his support. “He likes you. That’s all that matters. Did he say something?”  
  
“No, he didn’t say anything. Hell, he even said it was fine for me to ask for everything I wanted. But… I can’t. I don’t want to abuse his kindness.” Baekhyun whined, feeling ashamed.  
  
Awkwardly patting Baekhyun’s head, Kyungsoo clicked his tongue. “You are not. If he didn’t want to buy you things he wouldn’t do it, you’re not forcing him to do it. And he told you it was fine, right? So everything is fine.”  
  
“I think he just… wants me to stay. And this is worse. I use his weakness to gain stuffs.” Baekhyun breathed. “I’m a horrible person.”  
  
Kyungsoo withdrew from the hug and looked him in the eyes. “Baekhyun, you are not. I know Jongdae, he has always been like that, okay?”  
  
“You know Jongdae?” Baekhyun asked, incredulous.  
  
Groaning, his roommate nodded. “Long story short, we shared a few classes and he dated a friend of mine. Anyway… that’s why I’m telling you: you’re doing nothing wrong. The only mistake you’re doing right now is lying to yourself about not liking him more than the other men or anyone else you dated. Because it’s obvious you like the guy. Like, a lot.”  
“Who wouldn’t?” The older mumbled.  
  
Kyungsoo offered him a smile. “Indeed. Who wouldn’t? Then again… who wouldn’t like you?”  
  
Biting his lips, Baekhyun played with the hem of his shirt. “What do you know about Jongdae?”  
  
“He’s really nice – too nice – but you already know that. He’s scared to lose people. That’s why he always tries to keep them by buying stuffs or doing everything they want. That’s how Jongdae is. It’s not just you.” Kyungsoo explained. “But you should talk about it with him.”  
  
Nodding, Baekhyun let out a sigh. They had to talk, didn’t they? He wasn’t sure if he was ready to have the conversation though. Just thinking about it brought him a headache.  
  
  
  
Despite Kyungsoo’s advice, Baekhyun ignored Jongdae’s calls and texts the following day. Don’t get him wrong, he liked Jongdae and he was happy with him, but everything was a bit too sudden and he wasn’t used to feel anything other than attraction and fondness for the guy he dated. With Jongdae, feelings were involved and he wasn’t ready to deal with any of that crap.  
  
That was what pushed him to contact one of his old conquests to spend the day with. Kyungsoo had looked at him with a reproachful expression on his face when a foreign guy came to fetch him, but his friend hadn’t said anything – yet.  
  
They spent the day shopping, going to the amusement park and eating in a five stars restaurant. It was everything Baekhyun wanted, and he should have been elated but he wasn’t. In fact, he was far from it. He was bored, and that thought shocked him. Weren’t those his favorite things to do? Wasn’t this his way of living? He was feeling lost and beyond confused.  
  
When his conquest proposed him to go to the hotel, Baekhyun panicked and tried to let him off smoothly, telling that he had a headache. It worked and Baekhyun practically ran away to go home where an angry Kyungsoo was waiting for him, looking pissed.  
  
“Jongdae called fifty times, I had to turn off your phone.” He began somberly. “Then, he came with gifts, lots of them.”  
  
Baekhyun bit his lips, ashamed. Kyungsoo didn’t fall for it though and carried on with his lecture. “You are going to call him and apologize. What you are doing isn’t right Baekhyun. I didn’t say anything before because the guys you dated weren’t serious about you, but Jongdae cares and he likes you.” He sighed loudly. “It isn’t fair to neither of you. Get your shit together and stop running away for once!”  
  
Stomping his foot, he glared at Baekhyun one last time and retrieved back to his room, slamming the door behind him.  
When Baekhyun entered his room and saw all the gift packages, his heart constricted painfully in his chest, and the guilt overwhelmed him. Kyungsoo was right, he was acting like a kid by running away, and it wasn’t fair to Jongdae who was so nice and perfect. Jongdae who liked him like no one else had before. The truth was that Baekhyun was terrified, a person as ugly as him didn’t deserve someone like Jongdae.  
  
Letting out a shaky breath, he pushed the gifts away and lay on his bed, curling up into himself.  
  
Kyungsoo found him in the same position when he came to see his roommate, worried when the younger hadn’t shown up to diner. Before he could open his mouth though, Baekhyun broke the silence. “I’m not the right one for him.”  
  
His friend sat on the edge of his bed and snorted. “Nonsense. Who believes in that kind of things nowadays? The right one? There is no ‘right one’, there’s only ‘the one’. And you are Jongdae’s ‘the one’. Stop making excuses and stop being scared, okay? Just talk to him and everything will be right.”  
  
Baekhyun pouted and let Kyungsoo pet him, knowing it was his friend’s way of apologizing for earlier.  
  
  
  
“Are you going to dump me?”Jongdae asked softly, his eyes not meeting his.  
  
They had decided to meet in a coffee shop to talk because it was a neutral place – and now Baekhyun knew why Jongdae had made this suggestion. It seemed like Jongdae didn’t give him too much credit, and Baekhyun could not blame him. It was his fault anyway. The old Baekhyun would have effectively asked for a break up in a situation like this, so Jongdae wasn’t far from the truth.  
  
The younger had bought him coffee and offered him a huge bouquet of roses with a little card ‘I’m sorry’ attached on it, and instead of being thankful for the gifts it made Baekhyun feel awful. Jongdae was trying too much for him, going as far as apologizing for something he didn’t do. To see his boyfriend this pitiful and anxious hurt Baekhyun more than he thought it would.  
  
“Why would I?” Baekhyun inquired, confused. “I don’t want to break up with you Jongdae.”  
  
Jongdae looked up, surprised. “Then… what do you want to talk about?”  
  
Reaching for the younger’s hand, Baekhyun intertwined their fingers. “I want to talk about us. I’m sorry I scared you. I don’t want to leave you, okay? I just…” He paused, choosing his words carefully. “I thought I was taking advantage of you.”  
“You’re not!”Jongdae protested vehemently.  
  
Baekhyun held up his free hand to stop him and smiled sadly. “I used to do it with other people, you know. I mean… I dated them because they were attractive and they liked me, but mostly because they would buy me stuffs. I didn’t think much of it before you came into the picture, to be honest.” Baekhyun confessed. “I used to think I was doing nothing wrong, but with you… I felt like I was abusing you. And I don’t want that.”  
  
Jongdae bit his lips and squeezed his hand. “You know… I don’t mind. I’m serious. I like buying you things and making you happy – to show you that I care about you.”  
  
Baekhyun exhaled and munched on his lips, nervous. “I really like you, Jongdae. I never liked someone the way I like you… this seems really cliché but it’s true.”  
  
The smile Jongdae offered him could have brightened the whole room and Baekhyun froze in awe at the beautiful view. Smiling shyly, he tugged on the younger’s hand and pulled him forward to kiss him gently. Jongdae gasped in surprise at the exchange.  
  
“I like you too.” He mumbled in between kisses.  
  
  
  
Jongdae experienced his first love at the tender age of 12. She was pretty and liked teddy bears, and Jongdae liked her very much. Yes, liked. Because even if he first thought what they had was love, his next lover proved him it wasn’t at all. At the time everyone found them cute together and they were happily ‘dating’, going to the cinema, eating ice cream and watching stars.  
  
Jongdae had always liked to please the people around him. He always made sure to buy sweets for his friends. He bought lot of plushies for his girlfriend, and even made cakes for his parents and grandparents when he hadn’t enough pocket money to buy them something. Everybody found it adorable and Jongdae was proud to make his loved ones happy.  
  
The only problem – because yes, it became a problem not long after – was that Jongdae truly believed he was making people happy only by buying them things. He was convinced that it was the gifts he brought that made people like him, thus he carried on with his habit for years.  
  
His parents hadn’t thought much of it at first because Jongdae was buying sweets, candies, cakes or stuffed animals and there was nothing wrong with that. It was sweet and cute after all. Plus, it didn’t cost that much and Jongdae was a smart and reasonable guy.  
  
It became a problem shortly after though, when his next girlfriend – his real first love, he said — understood his way of thinking and abused his kindness, progressively asking him for more and more expensive things. Sweets and plushies became clothes and shoes or bags, and Jongdae didn’t have any money left for other people apart from his girlfriend. He didn’t even have enough money for his own hobbies, and even if it made his parents worried they chose not to interfere with their son’s love life. Young ones had to make mistakes to learn right?  
  
When he couldn’t buy his girlfriend a pretty necklace she wanted because it was too expensive for him, she outright broke up with him and none of his pleading and promises of ‘next time’ could reason her. Jongdae was heartbroken and confused, not knowing how to react. Feeling pitiful, he then decided he never wanted to be left again because he didn’t have enough money.  
So despite being a high school student, at his parents’ dismay, he took a job to gain more money. Jongdae was still a smart and reasonable guy after all, his parents couldn’t say no.  
  
On and on, he kept going out with girls and later boys as well, buying whatever they wanted to make sure they would like him and stay with him. Jongdae thought love meant buying things for the other person to make them happy. And he thought people wanted to be with him because he could make them happy. Too bad he never realized people didn’t care about him at all and just came to him because he had money and would shower them with gifts.  
  
When his lovers became bored or tired with all the gifts, he could only watch them leave without saying anything because what else could he do? He had already bought them everything they had asked. What did he do wrong?  
  
Numerous times his close friends tried to reason him but nothing worked. Jongdae was convinced he was doing the right thing. He was sure loving someone meant giving them everything they asked for. His parents, his friends, his lovers, and everyone loved him because he offered them gifts — so why would they say something was wrong with him then, when they had accepted his gifts and never said anything before? He didn’t understand and chose to ignore them.  
  
  
  
When Baekhyun came into the picture, nothing changed. Jongdae kept doing it and was pleased to make the older boy happy. His boyfriend’s eyes always sparkle when he bought him gifts and he was always thanking him profusely, showering him with kisses, hugs and more when they were alone.  
  
Baekhyun was special.  
  
Like all Jongdae’s exes before, it was the other boy who came to him to ask him out and he had simply said yes, being single at the time (for about 3 days). Baekhyun had smiled brightly at him and Jongdae had known he had made the right choice.  
  
His lover was a sunny person, always smiling and laughing, teasing Jondgae to no end and asking cutely for things to buy. With him, Jongdae found himself smiling a lot and not only because Baekhyun was happy. For once Jongdae was smiling because he was the one being happy spending time with his boyfriend.  
  
When Baekhyun would ask him something he would hang on his arm and flutter his eyelash while pouting cutely and Jongdae could never say no. He never thought twice before saying yes or buying whatever Baekhyun was looking at, even when his boyfriend wasn’t the one asking for it.  
  
Baekhyun would always kiss him sweetly when they were out to thank him before pouncing on him to kiss him hungrily when they passed through the door of Jongdae’s flat. Sometimes they didn’t have the time to enter the apartment that Baekhyun had already a hand in Jongdae’s pants.  
  
(Jongdae remembered one time when he had bought this bag Baekhyun had wanted for a very long time and his boyfriend hadn’t waited before jumping on him to devour his mouth, going as far as unbuckling his belt and jerking him off in the parking lot. And despite the embarrassment, Jongdae couldn’t say he didn’t like it.)  
  
It was safe to say that Jongdae liked Baekhyun very much, like no one else before. So when his lover had tried to run away from him Jongdae had panicked, not wanting to lose him. If before he thought he was doing everything right and could do nothing more to keep his lovers, with Baekhyun it was different. He knew he could always do more for him and he would prove him he would be better together with him at all costs.  
  
Jongdae had called him again and again, had sent lot of messages, e-mails and whatnot, he had personally delivered numerous gifts as well but there had been no sign of Baekhyun for the whole day. Needless to say Jongdae had been worried and restless, feeling at loss in this kind of situation. He had thought about staying on front of Baekhyun’s door but it would have been a little too much and he didn’t want to put more pressure on his lover’s shoulders. So he had waited and prayed that Baekhyun would contact him.  
  
Baekhyun had eventually contacted him to meet him, and Jongdae had been so sure it was to break up with him that he had made up his mind to let him go even if it would break his heart. Because he liked Baekhyun very much and if he wasn’t happy anymore with him then he should let him go. He had bought him flowers though at his last resort, in hope he could rethink his decision.  
  
But Baekhyun hadn’t wanted to break up and as surprised and confused as he was, he had been really happy to know Baekhyun liked him as much as he liked him. What Baekhyun told him made him think a lot though and he began to understand what people tried to tell him for years. To say it had been Baekhyun of all people who would open his eyes … he found it quite ironic.  
  
Trying to change his habit would be a long process but Baekhyun would make sure he wouldn’t cross the line. Baekhyun had even thought of an agreement to prevent Jongdae from buying him too much things: he could buy him a gift once a month, and only something under 100,000 won. Jongdae had reluctantly agreed because he knew Baekhyun would feel awful and guilty if he continued to buy him gifts like before. The older one truly wanted to make them equal in the relationship, “that is love,” he had said, and Jongdae was only happy to make his lover’s wish come true. And for once, it wasn’t a gift he would buy with money.  
  
  
  
“Not even for our one year anniversary?” Jongdae asked for the umpteenth time.  
  
Baekhyun threw him a sideway glance, before planting his mouth on his to make him shut up. “Don’t even think about it.” He answered against his lips before circling his arms around his neck and pushed him to his bed.

 

 

 


End file.
